Saturday, October 9, 2010

Word On Tha Street

Ok, let's get real here.
Wherever you are right now, take the next moment to walk around. If you're on a laptop, put it to the side. If you are in a classroom, ask to use the bathroom or just.. crack your back by leaning all the way back in your chair. Stretch. Something to avert your eyes, I guess. I'll give you a moment. Be sure to take note of how you feel during this small moment. Anything. Begin, now.
Keep that moment in mind. Think about everything you saw and everything that went through your head. This is no test of intellect, or anything. I am not at all attempting shock. Keep thinking about it. Imagine it, the best you can... Now. Vividly as possible, try to imagine that there was actually just a dead man standing wherever it is that you looked. Really. Really, though. What would have been the situation? What would you have actually done? This is a deceased man, standing as if he is living. I know, it's different for everyone. Some people might add sentimental value- a celebrity or a dead pal. Now, just imagine a mummy. A mummy. How would you truly, truly react?

[News Bulletin]
We now return to full coverage of today's breaking news of today. Sponsored by Testimony Cookies, the cookies that'll make ya give a testimony! If you are now joining us, we have had shocking news that a roving gang of live mummies have been released from a federal museum. There have been official reports of flash fires and mercy strangles through the metro area. We advise anyone that is currently in work or school to remain seated as this event transpires. If you have any women or children, we also advise that you track the whereabouts of the mummies in order to give your family a fun and educational learning experience of the ancient world. Here, with us, is museum curator Professor Bodilly Flueds of St. James, Thomaston.

Prof. Ben Cur
Allowe me to say this, right off the bat. These mummies ARE Jamaican. They will do anything to stop the daily hustle of things for the mere sake of turning this great nation into an incredibly spooky town. If at all possible, remember to keep your distance and possibly take your children to learn about mummification in ancient times. Thank you.

[The following takes place between the two actual buildings]

I was watching a friend of mine playing darts on his newborn computer. He and his wife were making a lot of love, that day. Almost immediately, the mummy came rushing through the brick enclave. My pal was stunned at the loss of his life. He was passed away, and rushed to the hospital at the drop of a hat. He ended up being just fine, that day. Huge scare for us, though. We are lucky that things did not get any worse. In fact, we even gained from the experience. We learned a hell of a lot about ancient cultures, during the attack.

[At the very least, the mummy attacked ended the very moment it began. A very terrifying learning experience for all of us.]

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