Bored To Death: The HBO Faux-tective Series/Score:1

What crime could be more heinous that the other? What man could mistake you for another? Johnny-Man: The Devil-Rival On The Sweet Streets. Johnny-Man lives among us. His names rhyme with all the wind. His challenges exist near and far. He is a Winter-Born Man.
[Testimony from a Mama NaDine Toothpick'z- named after Anthony Wiggle-waggle's only Cartoon-themed seafood shack.] Mama Nadine "Toothpicks" of Greffen, Georgia circa 1789 He was always there for me. I believed he did birthed a child of mine at the time, but it was only what he'd call: "A Bogus Journey." Banny, er as he was once called, Banny would Be on the lookout for us. We were quite sure he was a murderer, but back then, a foolish me decided "You don't know the ugly truth! Come on, you don't know the guy"... ahem, I didn't know any languages, back then, so I was still petite. The first time any of us had spoken to him, he had already been passed on for the past 70 minutes or so, so we actually ignored him at risk of being accused of murder. When we had come back around, 2 hours later or so, he was actually ripe and freshly stained with blood which didn't help the sisters I was with believe that he wasn't so distant from all the Charlie Deckers in the world. We felt the sudden need to, jimmorisean in order to get past this orphaned man. My sister, Delilah-Belle, took out her teedlywink, and begun to type one mean dialogue with a young Doctor Amorphous. My medium sister Doctor Stella O'Baskerville, began to dribble a mean rock down the court past that nigga's head. I on the far-other hand, simply dropped my current mood and shouted him down from whichever rope he was stress-proofing. "What seems to be the malady, you crock bitch?" he said, and I turned to him and retorted "I beg yourn pardon?" "You summoned me, so I am the devil. So what's it going to be? 3 wishes or 3 punishments. . .for eternities. Yourn call." The gay bastard. As you can imagine, me and that fellow made great love that very night. He was actually on his "beach vacation" setting so, the sex was actually very relaxing in the long run. As you can imagine, he was half Jordanian and half Cleveland. Little did I know, Sister Lah-Belle, still on her teedee, accidentally jimmoriseaned our hero to a shallow-grave. One of the notes that Lah-Belle sent Doctor Amorphus was a complete mistake. She had actually typed what she was truly thinking, and it was not meant to reach the doctor. A message of Banny's uncertain outlook. ===============================================================

Original Documentation, th [court transcripts from the testimony of Orvilla Cain Rupture. And he's the narrator, basically.]

Now, to understand our doctor in this story, you'd have to have open your mind to walks of life. Naturally. A complete soft-sack by the age of twelve, Doctor Amelius Amorphus Rogers, was an absolute weird man. =============================================================

Relentless Documentation, op [the story is 3rd person limited, now]

The old Woolwarre home was a 2x4 plywood outhouse. They hated every moment of life. None of the sons had girlfriends, and none of the Woolwarre girls would study hard enough! So they reproduced fairly quickly, the parents, in order have children to spare due to inevitable self-mutilation. Non-offensive subliminally, paved the rest of this sentence. The walkways to the town from the small home was actually painted each day by this